im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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