Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
