Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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