Cold hands, warm shart.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Let's paint friendship bongs
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
