i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
