And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
