In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
