elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
