Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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