porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
