Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize