all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
