hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
