having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
