just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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