honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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