Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
sex in a hospital.. check
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
