Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
