my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
