It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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