and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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