We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
