I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
