I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
