so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
