So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
