you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
