There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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