No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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