just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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