So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize