eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
