Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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