I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
