He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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