so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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