So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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