If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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