The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
PS: I just woke up from my shower
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
