Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
This toilet bowl is my home.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
