Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
