id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
