I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize