Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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