And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize