Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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