sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize