Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Houston, we have a blender
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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