Please, let me fuck your mom
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
