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Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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