man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
