then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
