Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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