Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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