Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
