My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
