time to smoke my breakfast
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
