Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
