my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
