There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
