You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
