Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
