He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
