How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
