Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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