Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize