I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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