my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
