"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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