used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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